


i am your disease

by g6th9m



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Baby Jason Todd, Bad Parent Willis Todd, Domestic Violence, Drug Abuse, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Miscarriage, catherine todd... is trying, nothing too violent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:14:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27298471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g6th9m/pseuds/g6th9m
Summary: a short collection of moments in catherine todd's life.
Relationships: Catherine Todd & Jason Todd, Catherine Todd/Willis Todd, Jason Todd & Willis Todd
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	i am your disease

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall... this is my first fic published on ao3, i really hope you enjoy!  
> also, please pardon my shitty aesthetic, i started typing like this five years ago and i ca n oot st op.

catherine first met willis at a bar. she was seventeen, batting her lashes for willis to make her a fake id. he was cute in a sort of rugged way (she wasn't going to lie), plus he could make one of the best fake id's she'd ever lay her eyes on. he talked a lot about the city of gotham, about his life of crime and adventure. to catherine, who bought her fake id with her trust fund money, the idea was completely foreign. he was interesting, and offered goods she couldn't back out on.

she picked up her new id the next month, stomach rolling. HOW DO I TELL A COMPLETE STRANGER I'M PREGNANT WITH THEIR CHILD? and to her pure joy, he couldn't have reacted better. he brought her inside, handed over a fat wad of bills, offered to move her in and take care of her. they were gonna raise the baby together, if she wanted. the promise of a life that was real with someone who knew how to live.

he was just such a breath of fresh air. it was easy to get lost in him, in the drugs he supplied, the alcohol, the sex, the way he spoke to her. being around willis felt like being high forever, and truth be told, she was. she was so high that she couldn't see all the red flags, the way he slipped her credit card when she wasn't looking, the way he was just a little TOO rough sometimes, or how he was too quick to get her to try heroin. IT'LL BE SO GOOD, BABY. she spent most of her pregnancy laying on the floor of willis' rundown apartment, eyes glazed over, a needle in her arm. willis treated her so well.

jason peter todd was born on august sixteenth, named after willis' dad and catherine's step dad. he was supposed to be born september thirtieth, supposed to be the embodiment of the pure love between willis and catherine. their whirlwind romance. the soulmates. he was scary looking, like some kind of alien from another world, and so catherine spent a lot of time trying to stay away from him. what could she say? he was a baby and she had better things to do than sit around with something she couldn't care less about. willis refused the hospital, chalking it up to be something about a warrant or a doctor... the story seemed to change every time. jason spent a lot of his first year sick, always shaking, sometimes even foaming at the mouth, always throwing up, always crying, no, not crying, SCREAMING. willis didn't seem to be too much of a fan either: catherine remembered a time, very vividly, where she had finally come to from her high, finding willis fuming, jason screaming per usual. THEY WOULDN'T BUY THE BABY. NOBODY WILL BUY THE BABY. I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE.

jason grew to be cuter, catherine supposed. he looked a lot like willis: perfectly ocean blue eyes, black hair, straight brows- everything but his nose. catherine had that nose. and after a while, catherine realized they bruised the same: when jason was two, he made the mistake of playing with his teddy in the wrong place at the wrong time. willis thought he needed to learn a lesson. MY POOR BABY. he'd cried for hours, screaming when his father came anywhere near him, holding his bear close to his chest like it would try and run away. she'd never seen someone so distressed, so broken. eyes red, snot dripping off his face, face forming a terrified scream.

sometimes, she couldn't take it. jason was a sweet kid who kept her warm, who stared up at her with puppy eyes and called her mamma, who smiled and helped her with her medicine. he pretended cigarette burns didn't hurt, and that he was stronger than any three year old should be. but god, he was fucking annoying. don't tell her mommy and me group (HAHA, AS IF), but sometimes she crushed up her pills and slipped them in his milk. just an hour of peace. she never wanted a fucking kid. she hated her life, where she lived in the slums in an apartment that was falling in on itself, how her parents never seemed to answer her calls, how her friends had all left for more greener pastures. she hated willis, how he kicked the stray dog that catherine had taken in, how he hit their baby for being a baby. but when he was good to her... he was so good.

willis worked around town, odd ends and various in betweens working for caped criminals. sometimes he brought home shiny things, things that made catherine feel rich in love. he brought home a ring with the biggest diamond catherine had ever seen, slipping it on her finger as she sobbed. diamond necklaces adorned hollowed necks, pale ears dripping with the finest pearls. he swept her off her feet every single time, lifting her into a high where she could forget about jason and forget about the water bill and the fact that she sobbed herself to sleep every night. those nights they all slept together, dirty sheets they couldn't afford to wash, jason curled up in her chest while willis wrapped an arm around her waist. SO HIGH.

and in an instant it all came tumbling down. in hindsight, maybe it was a bit too early to excite jason, telling him he'd be a big brother. he was five, upset and on a sick day home from school. jason was always tiny, always just a little bit too prone to getting sick. of course, the fucking cry baby had to tattle, and that very night, catherine got jason to give her her medicine in a puddle of her own blood. SUCH A SWEET BOY. he cleaned it up, muttering small "ti amo mamma", not quite understanding the severity of the process. it happened again when jason was seven, when he could convey pure horror in his eyes. SUCH A SWEET BOY .

after one of those days, willis never came back. he had been in and out of jail their entire relationship, but never for more than a month or two. she tried to visit him when she found him, sitting down with jason on her lap at blackgate correctional facility, complete with a hand drawn card jason had colored of all of them. SEE YOU HOME SOON, DADDY! willis had left it at the table when he got up to leave.

catherine spent a lot of time without willis chasing the high that he left in his wake. he was so intoxicating, so perfect with those bright blue eyes and that soft skin. and of course jason took care of her, washing the sick from her front, making her food, scavenging for whatever money he could. when willis returned, he took the brunt of the beatings, no longer the same whiny baby who cried under the table until it was all over. she helped give jason a shower one day after he'd broken his arm, unable to do it himself, and until then had catherine never quite realized how scarred he was. arms lined with burnt indents, his back torn to shreds, purple with bruises and red with cuts. within one hesitant phone call, willis went away for a long time more.

jason supposed that one day she just overdid it. she left no note, no indication of why, never gave any intention she didn't know what she was doing, but one day she was just gone. he had been out, scavenging around for food for dinner (willis was getting released!) as per usual. his mother was a notoriously quiet sleeper, but their apartment had been just a little too quiet. he found her in a pile of her own vomit, eyes wide open, laying next to the toilet bowl. her skin was grey, eyes wide open, her body firm to the touch. willis returned home later that night, prying jason out of catherine's dead arms with the kind of energy of a man who just saw his dog shit inside the house. he made a few phone calls, locking jason in his room for the time being. within an hour, catherine was gone forever.

he was nine when she died, eyes blank and glossed as the dead. willis had bought jason's entire grocery list, a way to tell his son he was sorry for his loss- jason's loss, not his. the next morning, willis was gone, leaving no note, no nothing. just a forgotten pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and a watch he had stolen for jason to pawn. he didn't return after that.


End file.
